My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
