why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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