I wanna bring you to show and tell
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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