she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
