i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
