It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
