i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
