we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
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