I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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