btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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