We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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