Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
