so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
