Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
