Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize