just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Help. Why am I so naked?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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