I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
