idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
