I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Also, beer. Big fan.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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