garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
