We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
