): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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