Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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