it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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