I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize