Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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