Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
