2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize