Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
