Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
