North Korea, Best Korea!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
