Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
