belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
