guys are not supposed to queef...right?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
