He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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