i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Rumble strips road head = magical
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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