Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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