party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
