just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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