erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
