Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
