Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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