Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
