Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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