Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
