be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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