Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I had to cum in my sink.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
