i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
