Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
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