I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
