So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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