they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
