I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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