im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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