It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
