I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
