Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
