Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
