I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
