I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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