god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
