we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
