You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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