I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
