it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
