Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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