even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
