Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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